songbirdoftomorrow

Sorry I didn't write yesterday. Of course, it's probably not necessary to apologize to my own journal given the fact that you're inanimate and all. But still. Between the hangover and the general feeling of... blah..., I just didn't have much to say. It's funny. Prior to all of the insanity that's taken over my life, I LOVED New Years. The parties, the resolutions, the rebuild and restart of it all. Now it just feels like... one more year of waiting.

Don't get me wrong. I went and partied, if you could call it that. Stephen insisted I go out and try to have fun and he forgot to mention that he set me up on a blind date.

You know... it's really bad when your... John's ex is the one consoling you at the drop of the ball. Cara and I don't NOT get along now, but it's always tenuous. I think she blames me for their breakup and maybe even for him disappearing, but... she knows what it's like to miss John Young. She knows how hard everyone has been working to find him and how terribly depressing it is to find NOTHING. She sensed him, not too long after he took off with Jed, but then it was cut off. I honestly don't know how I feel about that. I mean I know I'm human and definitely NOT a telepath, but... I don't know. They had that bond long before I ever met John, so...

But yeah. God, I miss him. It seems so weird, because honestly... we didn't even know each other that long. A few months, maybe? And we definitely weren't like... THAT, for very long. And I mean... the world WAS ending. Maybe he's choosing to stay away. Stephen and Cara definitely don't think so, but I don't know. If he 'broke out' like Cara thinks he did, then maybe he's just happy to have his powers back and doesn't want to be involved in all of the Tomorrow People drama. And that's okay. But... I just want to know he's alive. That he's okay. And happy.

That's pretty much all I want for New Years. John Young to be happy. If I knew he was happy, maybe I could get back to finding some for myself.